What are you growing these days? I’m sure you’ve gotten your garden started (I’m growing some peonies, hydrangeas, and am experimenting with ranunculus), but what I’m really asking about is what you are cultivating in your daily life. Curiosity? Fear? Anger? Distress? Encouragement?
When we are confronted with the unexpected, unknown, or unwanted, our first response is rarely curiosity. No, our first response is usually fear. I know none of us are proud of that, and we’d like to pretend otherwise. You might be shaking your head right now, insisting that you are never afraid. Are you a human? Then I beg to differ.
There is nothing wrong with being afraid. It’s part of our make up as human beings. The issue is what we do with that natural and normal response to an impetus: do we allow it to control us? Or do we acknowledge it and start asking questions? Usually, we let fear have its way with us. When that happens, it usually takes us down a dark dirt road to a cave where all its friends are hanging out waiting for us: insecurity, desperation, depression, worthlessness. And then we’re done for.
I’m offering an alternative to you today – curiosity. What would happen if, when fear took hold of your wrist, you said, “Fear, why are your hands so cold today? Are you feeling tired? What did you eat for breakfast?” Now, this may seem a little silly in this context, so let’s shift to a different context. Let’s shift to the context that you have just lost your job. You don’t know what you’re going to do next. You’re fine for the moment, but…and there’s those cold fingers on your wrist. So let’s start asking some questions.
Did you like your job? What do you actually miss about it? What did you do every day while you had that job that was irreplaceable in your life? What would you have done if you didn’t have that job? Did that job steal energy from you in any way? Did it give you energy? Aside from the regular paycheck, what will you miss?
Is this an enviable situation? No. No one is raising their hand saying, “I’m ready for a challenge! Lay me off!” BUT – now that we’re here – how can this actually open doors for you that were closed? How can you start asking questions that will elucidate what you really want in your life?
Perhaps you’re self-employed and the current climate is so unpredictable you can’t help the clenching in your stomach. Maybe you can’t get past the dread you feel as your clients stop work. Again, not an enviable situation. But what questions can you start asking that will help you get your head out of the cave?
Fear is real. But it doesn’t leave you without a choice. Whatever it says to you, you decide if you want to follow. You decide if you want to stay in that cave with fear and all its friends. Have you spent enough time there? Look around. Ask questions. Cultivate curiosity that will help you stand up and walk away. It’s okay if you don’t know where you’re going yet.
Activity:
- Write out three fears.
- Ask one question of each fear.
- What else are you curious to know about one of these fear?